#but he's not cried even one time in the game

[luvyeni]

⚔️… ( drabble ) never let you leave ! ୨୧ 一 이희승 ՞

⸃ ⸰ ⌁ ヾ

yandere!heeseung・ reader ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ g ・ smut ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ cw ・fingering , manipulation wc ・ ‎0.8k ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎| ‎ ‎click to library

request. y/n & heeseung are on a break from their relationship even though hee opposed SOOO to get her to come back he kindof stalks her & makes her feel unsafe so she asks him to come back & protect her .. . ??

「 ୨୧ authors note 」 im a little rusty with yandere i hope you like it !!!

he was too controlling, he never let you be; always calling when you were out with friends, or out at work — or just in general he was always calling. he did this under the premise of “there are bad people out there” or “im just trying to protect you.” you could take it anymore. so you broke up with him, told him you just needed space.

he didn’t take it well at first; and you expected that. he cried, begged you to stay; he said he couldn’t live without you — that probably would’ve worked in the beginning, but you were tired. “i don’t even feel safe with you anymore heeseung, being with you scares me more than anything now.” and with that you left him.

he left you alone after that; you didn’t even see him anymore, in fact you didn’t see him for almost a month after that. his friends said all he did was stay home and play games, which made you sad, but this was for your happiness, so you couldn’t just back down. “as long as he gets the help he needs i wish him nothing but the best.”

heeseung in fact wasn’t getting the help he desperately needed. in fact he was getting worse, he was dying without you; he felt like he couldn’t breathe because he wasn’t near you — well not as close as he wanted to be.

you began to feel it a month later; you let your guard down, and that’s when you began to feel like you were being watched. you tried to ignore it, but it was hard when it was all the time, even in your apartment. you began to close the blinds. but that didn’t work, you felt like you were exposed in your own house.

“it’s heeseung isn’t it?” you friend said, you shook your head, quick to defend the boy. “no jake said he’s getting help.” what you didn’t know is that heeseung was always one step ahead of you, watching you. waiting for you. he saw your every move; even in your home with the cameras he installed.

you couldn’t take it anymore; you felt like you were going insane and nobody believed you, they thought you were just exhausted from work or something. “you just need sleep.” how could you sleep if you felt like someone was watching you!

you began to think maybe heeseung was right, maybe he was the only one that could protect you. maybe the world was too dangerous for you. which is why you found yourself knocking on his door. “poor baby.” he saw your tired state. “you look so tired.” he smiled to himself as you let yourself in. “i can’t sleep, i can’t go out alone, im scared someone will hurt me.” you rushed to say. “didn’t i tell you that?” he said. “you didn’t listen, now look.”

you wrapped your arms around him, and he wanted to hug you back; but he had to teach you a lesson — don’t ever think about leaving him again. “hee im so tired.” you looked up at him with those eyes. “yeah?” he said. “let’s get you to bed then.”

he guided you back to his room, laying you down on his bed. “please don’t go.” he smiled, laying next to you. “im not.” his hand was resting on your stomach. “i won't go anywhere.” his hands now moving. “you can just stay here with me.” you moaned softly. “heeseung.” he kissed the side of your head. “you don’t even have to go out, i’ll make all the money and spend it on you.” he said cupping your heat. “fuck you’re so wet.”

you couldn’t believe you fell for again, allowing his fingers to explore your insides like before. “you missed me?” you nodded. “use your fucking words.” he growled. “missed the the way i held and protected you.” he said. “the way i fucked you?” his fingers curled, hitting the spot that made you moan. “fuck hee please keep going , i need you.” you cried out. “need you so bad.”

he sped up, your hips following his movements. “you’re mine, everything you do is because i give you permission to.” you’d complain if he wasn’t fucking your open with his fingers. “you understand, you’re mines, your body is mine, your mind is mine?” you were desperate, ready to cum. “fuck yes hee im yours.” you screamed. “i’ll never leave again i promise.”

that was all he needed, before he whispered into your ear. “cum.” and it was like your body was finally at peace, your mind too. “hee.” your breathing was heavy from your orgasm, eyes heavy from your long exhaustion. “shh, go to sleep.” he said. “when you wake up we can handle me okay.” he held you softly in his arms. “im fine holding you just like this.” you slowly drifted off to sleep in what you thought was the safest place at the moment — but you couldn’t be far from wrong.

because you in fact were sleeping right in the arms of the reason you were feeling so unsettled and by time you woke up you wouldn’t be able to do anything about it… you gave yourself to him.

you were his now, all his and was never gonna share you again…

©️LUVYENI

[bonbonly]

𝐈𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐖𝐨𝐨𝐝𝐬

a/n: this is for my desi girls, and my first full length proper fic! translations are at the end of the fic, so just scroll down whenever you see something in spanish! pairing: king!carlos sainz x apsara!female!reader ; tw: fingering, cunnilingus, p in v, overstimulation, dirty talk in spanish, use of slut in spanish word count: 6k apsara definition: a supernatural female being, either the mistress of a soul in paradise or a succubus

"hurry up! hurry up!" meenakshi cries out. she's grabbing her saree, wrapping it around her wet body as she cranes her neck around a tree to see if there were any onlookers. you laugh, splashing some water onto her feet which has her squealing, her right foot kicking up into the air before she's stomping her foot, pouting at you, "i'm not kidding, come! what if someone sees us!"

"that didn't stop you the last time when the great sage was walking back home," you tease her, splashing another wave of water. she's blushing at your words, averting her eyes to the small flower besides her. she had been sent by one of the gods to remind this sage that despite the knowledge he had, his arrogance was still that of a mere mortal and to prove a point, meenakshi was sent to illustrate that the sage had not yet controlled his desires like he was supposed to. meenakshi had walked into his hut under the pretense of wanting some water, and walked out with a satisfied grin as the sage's cum dripped down her legs. even with the amount of times she was sent by the gods to fulfill whatever they asked of her, no apsara was more the favorite than you. you were created by many gods, who each spent extra time making sure that you were the perfect apsara to ever exist. their own lust could not be controlled when you stepped out of the flower that you bloomed from, and needless to say, you were their prized possession for a good two weeks before they let you roam the mortal world.

you're in a river, taking a bath like you always did with your friends. renuka had left earlier to collect some fruits, and dhanalakshmi was playing games with the little girls near the village. dhanalakshmi's story was one of pity, though. she yearned to be a normal mortal, to mingle with the others, but an apsara's curse was that their beauty was just too much for a man or woman to handle. the mortals were not ready to live with the apsaras, and that's why their lives were so mundane. you glance over to meenakshi who's still anxiously looking around.

"you worry too much! come, come take another bath with me!" you laugh, swimming on your back. the water surrounded your full breasts, your hair floating like the leaves of a lily flower. meenakshi sent you a scowl, shaking her head,

"you play too much! come, before a mortal sees us! i've been hearing talks from the gods that this one king wants to take over the forest! and he's not even from here!" meenakshi grabs your white saree and brings it over to you, carefully holding it out so that the fabric doesn't get drenched. you stop your movements, letting the still water engulf your frame as you stare at her.

"what do you mean take over the forest? the forest is ours! the gods gave us a place to stay! this is our land, not the mortals!" you cry out.

"i know, i know," she beckons you with her hand to swim over to her, "which is why i'm begging you to come out of the river. we can go pray at the temple near by and see if the gods will answer our concerns!"

you step out of the river, letting the water cascade your naked body as meenakshi is quick to wrap the saree around you. she grabs the flower from the ground, plucking a bit of the stem off before placing it in your wet hair, right above your right ear and then she's holding your hand and navigating through the forest. you hop over some roots, and smile as the butterflies flutter around your hair, kissing your skin. meenakshi turns around and laughs,

"must be one of the former kings who satisfied their lust through you and now they are cursed to be butterflies!" and you giggle in response, cooing to the creatures,

"beautiful nonetheless, are they not? they're always welcome," and the butterflies dance around your head as a form of gratitude at your kindness.

when passing by a long abandoned hut, you see renuka laying there, her clothes on the floor of the forest. she's breathing heavily, a grin on her face as her legs are spread apart, her cunt still clenching around the cum that some mysterious man has offered her. meenakshi and you both scurry over to her, and while your friend is tending to the poor spent girl, you're giggling hysterically as you crouch down to her level.

"someone had fun in the forest without us, hm?" you smile and meenakshi's swatting your arm, a frown on her face,

"stop that! she needs to get back home. why would anyone ever be intimate in the forest, look at her back!" she flips renuka onto her stomach which causes the apsara to giggle a bit dazily. there's marks on her back from being held up against a tree, and you bite your lip, your mind wandering to some very unholy thoughts. renuka's waving meenakshi away,

"no, stop... stop, i'm fine. i'm very much fine, don't worry about me. i was sent by indra to come destroy a saint's abstinence. he was a young boy, couldn't be more than 19. he was good," she pauses, stretching her arms before giggling once more, "really good. (y/n) you would've loved him." and meenakshi's glaring at both renuka and you,

"enough with this nonsense! come now, we have other more important matters to deal with. dhana's waiting for us back at the temple," she stands up and walks away, leaving you to wrap renuka up in her clothes, a knowing smile on both your lips. when you finally get to the temple, dhana's there making a flower garland to place on the deity and she turns to look at her three friends approaching.

"finally! i thought you all would never make it! i was waiting for so long!" she cries out, and meenakshi's rolling her eyes,

"we would've gotten here sooner, but you can already guess what held us back," and she sends a scowl to both you and renuka, who are hiding your laughs with your mouth. dhana sighs, lighting a small lamp before praying carefully. one by one, the apsaras close their eyes, murmuring their concerns and within seconds, a large glow appears in front of you all. you open your eyes first, having always loved to have conversations with the gods. however, you frown, when you see it's god indra, the one you hated the most. he was always teasing you, toying with you in the worst way possible. you pout your lips and turn your head to the side, chest heaving in anger and he's already laughing,

"oh my dear (y/n) come now, don't be like that! i thought you'd miss me!"

but meenakshi, the ever loving friend, clears her throat and saves you from a conversation with him, "we wanted to ask about what's to come of our forest. are the rumors true? will our home be destroyed by a foreign force?"

indra stares into the sky, taking a deep breath in before nodding his head, "i'm afraid the rumors are true. very much true. there's not much we can do to stop him, but we're trying our best to intervene. this is the home we gifted you after all, i wouldn't want any of you to get hurt."

"what do you mean by 'him'? who's 'him', who is he?" you ask, snapping your head to face indra. he's raising his eyebrows, a smile on his lips as he sees your feisty attitude,

"apsara, he isn't like the other men you've dealt with," he clears his throat before continuing, "he's more dangerous, you know? he's a king from a distant place, very distant. he's travelled the seas, he's shown the qualities of a true warrior and for a king who takes acres of land left and right for the expansion of his kingdom, he sure does have morals."

"no man has morals, we have learned that countless of times," dhana chimes, "surely, he is someone that can be defeated, right?"

"of course, of course! but the gods cannot do it without your help! and your help is very crucial, very much so," indra begins and renuka steps forward,

"we'll be very helpful like always, this is just another-"

"this isn't just another scenario," indra scoffs, "i'm worried about you all. for once in your lives, you may be seduced by him, not the other way around."

the apsaras stare at him in disbelief, confusion settling in all their faces. what did he mean by that? no man ever stood a chance against an apsara, and no apsara ever bowed down to another man after the deed was done. renuka turns to look at you, "i think (y/n) should do it. she never cares for any man. her entire world is this forest, she cares more than any of us."

and before you can argue that there's probably a better candidate, the god floats to stand besides you, tilting your chin up with his finger so that you can see his tall stature.

"i was thinking the same thing. come on (y/n) i know we've had our differences in the past, but you know you're always my favorite, you know that right?" he exclaims, gently brushing your cheek. you turn your head away in disgust, snarling at him,

"you're not my favorite. you never have been and you never will. but i'll still do it. not for you, but for my friends. for my home," you respond, and he clasps his hand,

"as long as you do it, i shall be fine," he sighs, and dhana nervously chews on her finger,

"what does he looks like?" she asks, and indra is moving back to where the deity stands,

"you'll know when you see him... she'll definitely know." and just like that he's gone. meenakshi turns to look at you with scowl,

"i now see why you hate him. how will we know? how will you know, (y/n)?"

"i guess i just will..." you whisper, turning on your heel.

dhanalakshmi stopped going to the village outskirts in a long time. renuka rarely ever leaves her small hut, and meenakshi never joins your invitations when you're bathing in the river. so all alone, you swim around, pressing flowers into your hair and laughing whenever the butterflies come back to accompany you.

"you poor creatures," you tease them pointing to a blue one, "i remember you... you tried to trick me, and i convinced the rishis to curse you! look at you, helplessly flying around because you could not get to me. shame, such shame. i might as well let your wings roam over my body, you won't have hands for the next 1000 years."

the butterfly flies up all into your face, making you laugh as you stumble backwards into deeper waters. "someone's upset," you snicker, and the blue butterfly flies away. your eyes follow the insect before it lands on a white steed, neighing. you frown, looking around you to see if any of your friends are there to convince you that you're not dreaming. you swim over to the majestical animal, ducking beneath a broken log when the horse turns to your area. when the horse looks the other side, you slowly raise your head and let your eyes travel along the golden reins. the saddle is that of a rich velvety red, with encrusted gold patterns. when you had once seduced a sage under the orders of one of the gods, the sage had found out and cursed you to be curious. in any other circumstances, this would seem as barely any punishment, but no. no, this was a type of punishment that only your future would suffer from. so with the nagging feeling in your mind, you raise from the water and approach the animal, gently brushing its soft coat. a very well maintained horse, and you're definitely impressed. your fingers dance along the reigns and when you look past the horse, you see a man cutting through the leaves of a bush with his sword. each swing of the weapon makes your heart ache and you feel for the poor plant that's suffering this abuse. you stretch out your hand, about to yell stop when your mind starts buzzing. you feel it in your heart, this is the man that you're supposed to stop. you gulp, realizing that you're not prepared for the occasion and you jump back into the waters which startles the horse.

hearing the restlessness of the horse, king carlos sainz runs towards the sound and he catches a glimpse of you swimming away, your hair chasing after you as if it was your own shadow and he has to blink a couple times because now you are gone. as if you were an illusion. he barely saw anything, but he swore you were naked? with flowers in your hair and a scent that made him crave for more. he shakes his head, turning back to his horse.

"oi, cabron, what's wrong?" he snorts, and the horse snorts back, stomping its foot, "enough with the attitude. come, we have things to do." and he's tugging the reigns, dragging the horse deeper into the woods.

"i saw him, i saw him!" you're pacing renuka's hut, shaking uncontrollably, "i didn't see his face clearly but i know it's him! i was so sure of it! i felt it within me!"

"then why didn't you do something about it?" she asks, and you groan out loud,

"right? when i'm naked after a bath, i should just go up to him and - oh forget it, that's your style. that's not mine!" you hiss, "i like to plan these out, i like to be prepared no matter what happens."

and you know you're prepared when you catch a glimpse of him the next day, and the following few days. you're stalking him, watching him prance around on his horse as you're perched on a tree. you take a bite of an apple, trying to understand his patterns, his mind. what was he doing in your home? to think he could storm in and take what was rightfully yours! the audacity of mankind. and yet as the days pass by, you fear lord indra is right. you're starting to crave this king. his hair looks soft, combed neatly and sometimes the wind pushes his hair back so that you could get a closer look at his big brown eyes. his jaw is sharp, lips big and you nearly fall off the tree ogling at him. renuka, meenakshi and dhana all see him too occasionally when they're hiding behind the trees, and all they can do is fawn over him. his beauty had renuka envying him.

"mortals shouldn't be this beautiful, this is a curse by the gods! they're trying to test us," she scoffs, and you're sighing out loud,

"a test indeed. i don't think i can spend any longer chasing after him. my mind is unwell. do you want to seduce him? i am more than happy to gift this burden to you," you exclaim but renuka shakes her head,

"no, no. the gods have chosen you. they're getting angry that you have not done your duty as an apsara. don't delay it any further, come on (y/n), it's your time now." she informs you, before picking the ends of her saree up and walking back to her hut.

you decide to finally confront the stranger that has been tormenting your mind for the past week. you let your hair down, the biggest hibiscus flower you can find in your hair and you wear your precious anklets, the one that you only wear for occasions like this. you delve into the woods, fingers brushing against the bark of the trees, each with a story of their own. and then you hear the unmistakable sound of someone chopping up leaves and you know it's time for you to spring into action. you move towards the direction of the sound, pushing the big leaves out of your way and you make sure that each step you take is harsh, just so that the music of your anklets can echo through every corner of this forest. as you turn the corner, a warm figure presses against your back, followed by the coolness of the sword against your throat.

"Qué tipo de criatura eres*?" the voice behind you asks, and you stand there, not understanding the language that he's speaking. you remain quiet, and after a few beats he asks you, "mmm, let me help you out, what type of creature are you?"

"i am no creature," you respond, "i live in the woods, this is my home."

"what are you? some sort of bear to be living here?" the voice behind you derides, and his sword's blade digs just a bite deeper into your throat which makes you gasp out loud, "you're a strange creature. what is it about you, hm? i've been seeing you lurking these wooded areas for the past week."

he inhales your scent, the one that he's been craving for an entire week. the one that he smells whenever he knows your nearby, and it drives him insane. he nuzzles his nose into your hair, lips finding the shell of your ear before he begins to nibble, "say, creature, how do you live like this in these woods?"

"this is my home. and once again, do not call me creature. you make me sound as if i am a monster, and the only monster here is you." you hiss, and he's chuckling into your ear, his voice low,

"perhaps, i am the monster, but you fascinate me. why don't you tell me one thing, were you sent by anyone? hm? is this some sort of a game that you and your friends play?" but his questions are met with no responses since you are too focused on the sword against your throat. he seems impressed at your resilience - or stupidity - and he removes the metal, spinning it in his hands before sheathing the sword. you take a step forward, ready to head back home and send meenakshi to do the deed instead but he grabs a chunk of your hair and pulls out back to him, which causes you to wince.

"where do you think you're going?" he's asking you, "i found you, and i want to know more about you."

"this is not the way to do so," you mumble, and he spins you around to finally see your face. you're stricken by his beauty, his features sharp and clear. you cannot help but press your body against his, being drawn to him in a way that you had never done so before. but you know that what you were feeling was wrong. apsaras never found love and if they did, it was doomed from the start. and considering the way this man was staring at you, love was not in the picture but lust sure was. you gulp, pushing him away from you, "you cannot take my home. you must make a promise."

he raises an eyebrow, cocking his head to the side as he's circling you as a predator would to its prey. the butterflies sit on the branch of a tree, eagerly waiting to see what's about to happen. "i cannot guarantee anything, but give me a good reason."

"my friends and i live here. the gods have gifted us this place as our home. no mortal is to ever see us unless we are to carry out a specific duty. mortals cannot usually withstand us, not even the most powerful sages can." you explain, and he's placing his hands on his hips, laughing at your words,

"i'm resisting you, i can stand you. not all mortals are that desperate, mi amor," he stops right in front of you, taking in your appearance. his eyes rake over your body, and he wants to touch you, see if you were real or just a figment of his imagination. but he knows that his words would then be futile. you can see the conflict in his eyes and you smirk for a brief second, and he notices it. he catches it, which makes him even more desperate to have you as his. to tame you, to see what it is about these woodland creatures. he had heard stories from the villagers nearby that the beauty of the forest was to be avoided. he didn't understand it then, but he sure did now. damned be the warnings they gave him, he just wanted a small taste.

you take a step backwards, which causes him to follow suit. you frown, looking around the forest to see if meenakshi would show up but the king grabs your wrist and yanks you close, pressing your body against his once more, "creature, i want you. i need you, right here and right now."

his eyes are blown out due to lust, and you're sure lord indra is happy that you have carried out his request perfectly. you could happily indulge the king all you wanted now. he'd cum in you once and then he'd leave as all the other men had done before. this was nothing new to you. you nod your head, "i shall give myself to you so long as you leave my forest and never come back, never taking what belongs to my friends and I."

"anything you say mi vida, i shall find land elsewhere," he promises, and you're unaware that he's crossing his fingers behind his back. how could he possibly leave this forest when he's seen you now! you bite your lip, eyes glancing to his lips. the ones that you've been dreaming about for a whole week and with much hesitation, you lean forward and capture his lips into yours, nipping his bottom lip and tugging every so often which has him laughing at how eager you were being. especially for a creature that seemed disgusted by his presence just a few minutes earlier. he cups your face, making sure you cannot turn away when the kisses become more heated. his lips trail to your jaw, and then down your neck. he kisses over your clothed breasts, down your stomach and then the inside of your thighs. he brings his hands up to grab at the fabric, but the gods must've decided to help you for now the wind is dancing around you. your hair lifts up into a spiral as the garment is slowly unraveling around you as if you were a present just for him, and there you stand naked before him as his mouth is watering at the sight. he shoves you to the ground, and you groan at the feeling of crunch leaves on your back. it wasn't your particular favorite feeling, but there's not much time when he's yanking you by your ankles close to him. he spreads your legs apart, shaking your feet to hear your anklets that are singing into his ears. he kisses your feet, whispering that every step you take on this world must be a blessing to the dirt. you're speechless at his praise, and his lips are inching closer to where you are aching for him. he blows a few cool breaths on your wet cunt, mumbling about how wet you are and if any man in the forest had ever managed to ruin you like he was about to.

"you are probably the 1000th man in my entire life that I have given myself too," you comment, watching his eyes darken, "i doubt you can make yourself memorable, but we shall try."

he takes it as a challenge, feeling his ego get bruised at your words. he’s going to make sure that if you ever bed any other man, you’ll still be craving him. so when you expect him to take out his manhood and call it a day, instead he has his lips around your cunt. he licks through your folds, sucking and pulling your clit that makes you gasp out loud, followed by a very loud moan that shocks even you. you glance down and can only see his black hair masking the sinful actions his tongue is doing. he’s wrapping his arm around your legs, bringing you closer to him as he’s diving his tongue deep into your core, shaking his head against your cunt which has you mewling. when you eventually cum into his mouth, he pulls away and licks his lips, loving the way you’re in shock at how intense the orgasm was. he brings his fingers to your mouth,

“Open for me princesa, i want to feel your spit on my fingers,” and you nod your head, completely under his trance. he smirks at your compliance, and pulls his fingers out of your mouth and dragging it down your body. his touch sends sparks flying through your body and when he shoves two fingers into your tight cunt, you throw your head back and cry out loud,

“you’re doing too much! listen you mortal!” you cannot finish your sentence since he’s curling his fingers, scissoring your cunt. he pulls out and slaps your face, gently,

“Your highness, you must call me your highness,” he grins, shoving his fingers back in you, and you’re tossing your head to the side with a large moan. this man had magic in his hands, there was no other explanation for this! he goes faster, adding a third finger as his thumb toys with your puffy clit. he sees your desperate cries to cum and he leans forward to capture your nipple in his mouth, sucking as if he was expecting milk to pour out from you. the gods had cruel ways to manipulate you, and you really hope they do not follow through with whatever this man was lusting for. your thoughts are quickly silenced as you feel that familiar coil tightening within you, and as his fingers slider in and out, curling and spreading the gummy walls of your cunt, you scream out loud as you cum once again, squirting all over his hands. the sleeve of his royal coat is drenched in your juices and he pulls away from your marked chest to stare into your eyes,

“you’re making quite the mess, mi vida. ruining my coat like this. debería castigarte por eso, mi pequeña zorra**” but his words mean nothing as your mind is turning into a blank mushy mess. he lifts you off the ground and places you against a tree. you suddenly remember the marks on renuka’s back a week ago and now you find yourself growing wetter at the thought of what he’s about to do. he runs a hand through his hair, beginning to undress. he tosses his coat, and then his vest and then his shirt onto the horse’s saddle and takes off his pants as well. his cock, once free, springs upwards and hits his stomach before swaying with each step he took towards you. he lifts one of your legs and lets you drape it over his arm while the other leg is made to root firmly onto the ground.

“you’re so wet, fuck,” he groans, sliding his cock against your folds. you whimper, still over sensitive from the previous orgasms but he tunes it all out and lets his aching cock bury into your cunt. he doesn’t give you time to adjust, making sure that the only thing your brain can think about now is the cock that's splitting you in half. he pulls out and slams right back into you, cock burying to the hilt and you're screaming with each thrust, unable to form words. his pace quickens, and he presses his chest against yours, going deeper into your poor cunt as the bark of the tree kisses your back roughly. he hoists both your legs up over his arms and as he's pounding into you, he keeps laughing the entire time.

"creature, i thought you'd be mysterious and quiet!" he brings his thumb onto your sensitive clit, rubbing furiously which has you screaming his title once more, begging him to slow down or else you were going to cum once more. "that's what i want, zorra, i want you to cum a million times around my cock. milk me for what it's worth. 1000 men you say? i do not know much about you, but i know from now on i am never letting any man touch you. damned be what the villagers said, i'm keeping you to myself."

your eyes widen in shock, having never heard someone want to possess you. perhaps this is the mentality of foreigners, wanting to take what wasn't rightfully theirs. you're sure the gods would never someone else take their beautiful creation, but a part of you... a part of you wanted him to take you. to let you go beyond this forest. you bite into his shoulder as you reach your climax, your liquids spewing out once more. he continues to drill into you, prolonging your pleasure. his thumb doesn't stop either, and you're sobbing uncontrollably telling him that you cannot take it anymore, that you cannot physically keep up with him. mortals would tire out before the apsaras, but this man had the strength to match the gods! no wonder indra was so worried about you having to deal with this king!

king carlos pulls out of you, and throws you over his shoulder. you limp against him, feeling yourself growing exhausted but you knew the job was far from done. the man tosses you into the water, and dives right in. he clasps onto your waist and brings you towards another bruising kiss, hands groping and squeezing wherever he could touch. there's a boulder near the end of the stream, and he swims over there with you holding on to his neck. within seconds, he has your face against the rock, ass in the air as he's rutting into you once again. you're losing your mind at this point, thinking that he's bound to make you so cock drunk that you'll never remember any of your friends ever again, only the feeling of the veins on his cock pulsing within your walls as he moves in and out of you. one hand grabs your hair while the other is kneading your ass. he looks down at the sight of your ass bouncing with each of his thrusts and he groans,

"oh creature, you cannot convince me that you weren't made just for my cock." his thrusts are harsher, he's not holding himself back anymore and you're audibly wailing at how you're unable to keep up with him, "mírate, tan hermosa, tan perfecta, tan buena puta de mierda para mí.***"

you don't know what he's saying again, but you can feel another orgasm building up as he's going deeper. it's like he plans on having his cock lodged into your guts permanently at this rate. you shake your head, trying to get up but he pushes you back down with his hand, a firm smack on your ass.

"i c-can't c-cum anymore," you whimper, though you back your ass into his crotch, as if chasing after something you fear might ruin you forever.

"yes, you can, puedes y te correrás para mí****" he growls, his thrusts becoming erratic. he grabs your arms and pins them behind your back, pulling you flush against his chest as his cock bullies into you. he licks the tears off your cheek, kissing and sucking at your skin and telling you that you were the most beautiful creature he's ever seen. "i'm going to take you back to my kingdom. i'm going to make you my queen, and you're going to be filled with my cum every. single. day," he punctuates with his thrusts, making you scream out loud as you're orgasming once again, your body shaking. he wraps his arms around you, "i never asked for your name in all of this. i need to know the name of my queen."

as he kisses your shoulder, you're gasping for air as you try to come down from the high, "i-it's (y/n), my name is (y/n)." and he's raising his eyebrows,

"never heard of the name, but it still sounds beautiful. i am king carlos, and i'm going to make you mine," he groans out loud as he's spilling his semen into you. he thrusts into you a couple more times, letting his cum splatter into the walls of your overworked cunt and he pulls out, enjoying the sight of your leaking pussy. he walks around the boulder to head back to his horse, and you see him begin to dress himself.

"if i have you, why would you need this forest, hm?" he asks, glancing at you as he's buttoning his shirt.

"this forest was gifted by the gods for my friends and I to stay safe from mortals. usually those who wander here are punished by the gods through us." you reveal to him, voice still hoarse from all the screaming you just did a few seconds ago. he laughs, a rich laugh, at your words,

"punish? mi vida, if this is your punishment, then i might as well take over your forest. do your friends have sweet cunts like you do? maybe i should get a taste of them all," he snickers, and watches you frown at his words, "don't be jealous, amor. you're the only one i want anyway."

he walks over to you after he's fully clothed, and cups your cheek, "come with me. i meant it when i said i want you as my queen. you won't have to live in this forest, you will have all the luxuries you could ever ask for."

"and this forest?" you ask.

"i'll still take it, but i won't do much harm if you're so fond of it," he replies, but it is not enough for you. consciousness settles into the crevices of your mind, and you realize you have overstayed your welcome with this king. you pull away from his touch, sending one final glance to him before jumping into the waters, swimming away as the butterflies follow you. king carlos watches you flee from him, confused that you just rejected such an amazing proposal. he wasn't even one to do so, and he laughs at his own foolishness to be chasing after some unknown creature in the woods. but his feelings remain the same, he wants you as his, no matter what happens.

as he moves towards his horse, he sees the white cloth that had been adorned on your body and he picks it up, inhaling that scent of yours that made his knees weak. he wraps the cloth around his hand and hoists himself onto his horse.

"i'll find her again one day, and the next time, i won't let her escape. she will be my queen, you hear me?" he says to the horse, who merely snorts and stomps its foot in response.

"oh, shut up," he hisses, before tapping the sides of his shoes against the horse's abdomen, and rides off deeper into the woods.

* what type of creature are you ** I should punish you for that, my little slut *** Look at you, so beautiful, so perfect, such a good fucking slut for me. **** you can and you will cum for me

[daisymbin]

Hi!! Could I have 24 and 31 fluff with mingyu? 🥹🥹

I love your writing btw!! I look forward to each story 🥹🥹

thank you lovely!!! hopefully you enjoy this one too!! <3

full prompt list!

check out my masterlist! // gyu's m.list

fluff prompt #24: "you’re the only person who knows how to make me smile like this." +

fluff prompt #31:"you’re like my personal sunshine."

mingyu sat on the couch, arms crossed, determined not to laugh. jeonghan, dokyeom, and joshua had pulled out every trick in the book—terrible impressions, absurd dance moves, and a variety of props that didn’t make sense. (why was dokyeom wearing a traffic cone on his head?)

but mingyu hadn’t cracked, not once. “you guys are terrible at this,” he said smugly.

jeonghan narrowed his eyes. “oh, you think you’re tough, huh? just you wait.” he turned toward the hallway and yelled, “we need backup!”

you peeked into the room, confused. “what’s going on?”

“mingyu’s trying to act all serious,” jeonghan explained, waving you in. “we need you to make him laugh. you’re the secret weapon.”

mingyu immediately smiled at the sight of you, the corners of his lips betraying him even before you stepped fully into the room.

you raised an eyebrow. “wait, did you already smile? i didn’t even do anything yet.”

“i didn’t smile,” mingyu lied, pressing his lips together and looking away.

“oh, he definitely smiled,” joshua said, grinning.

jeonghan clapped his hands together. “perfect. now, all you have to do is—”

“actually,” you interrupted, walking over and crossing your arms, “i don’t even need to try. i can just talk about the time mingyu cried because he thought his favorite hoodie shrunk in the wash.”

mingyu’s eyes widened, his jaw dropping “don’t!”

“oh, i have to,” you said, grinning as you turned to the others. “it was last winter. he came over in a full panic, holding the hoodie like it was a wounded animal, whining, ‘it’s ruined! my favourite hoodie is ruined!’”

joshua burst out laughing. “no way.”

“i was devastated!” mingyu defended, his voice getting higher.

“you didn’t even check the tag,” you continued, ignoring him. “i looked at it and told him it was one of those cropped hoodies. it wasn’t even shrunk.”

dokyeom fell over, clutching his stomach as he laughed. “he thought it shrunk?!”

“he tried to stretch it out!” you added, laughing now too. “he was literally pulling on it like it was gum, yelling, ‘why, why, why?!’”

mingyu groaned, burying his face in his hands. “you’re the worst.”

“oh, i’m not done,” you said, wiping a tear from your eye. “remember the time you got stuck in the elevator because you hit every single button trying to be funny?”

jeonghan leaned forward. “wait, what happened?”

“he was trying to impress some kid who was in the elevator with him,” you explained. “he hit every button, and then the elevator got stuck between floors. he had to wait for maintenance to get him out. how embarrassing.”

by this point, mingyu had given up, laughing along with everyone else. “okay, okay, that’s enough!”

“oh no, we’re just getting started,” joshua said, wiping tears from his eyes.

mingyu shook his head, looking at you with mock betrayal. “i can’t believe you’re doing this to me.”

you shrugged innocently. “hey, you brought this on yourself. don’t challenge me if you’re not ready.”

he sighed dramatically but couldn’t hide the grin spreading across his face. “you’re seriously the only person who knows how to make me laugh like this.”

you paused, caught off guard by his tone. “mingyu…”

he smiled at you, the teasing gone from his expression. “i mean it. you’re like my personal sunshine.”

the room went quiet for a beat, the other three exchanging knowing looks.

“okay, that’s sweet and all,” jeonghan broke the silence, “but you still lost the game.”

mingyu rolled his eyes. “yeah, yeah, whatever.”

but as he looked back at you, his smile softened. “thanks for always knowing how to cheer me up, even if it’s at my expense.”

“anytime,” you said, grinning. “besides, you’re the easiest target.” as the laughter continued, mingyu couldn’t help but think that losing the game wasn’t so bad when it meant having you there to brighten his day.

[ghostpebble]

SONIC MOVIE 3 SPOILERS AND RANT BELOW :)

SOBBING. SOBBING. SOBBING. WATCHED IT YESTERDAY AND I WAS CRYING THE WHOLE MOVIE BECAUSE THEY USED IT. THEY USED LIVE AND LEARN. AND NOT JUST ONCE. A MOTIF. THEY GAVE SHADOW A LIVE AND LEARN MOTIF. I AM EXTREMELY INDESCRIBABLY HAPPY. LET'S FUCKING GO

PLUS: EGGMAN'S MOTIF!!! IT WAS HERE!! THEY USED IT!! AND IT WAS ORCHESTRAL. BEAUTIFUL.

SONIC'S ESCAPE FROM THE CITY PLAYED, TOO, BUT NOT AS CONSISTENTLY. BUT ALSO, WHOEVER WROTE IN HAVING SONIC SAY "FOLLOW ME" UH HUH. I SAW YOU. YOU DID THAT ON PURPOSE AND I LOVED IT

I WANT THE DONUT LORD SWEATER. THAT NEEDS TO BE MERCH. I DONT CARE HOW MUCH IT IS. IF SOMEONE MAKES IT DM ME I WANT ONE THANK YOU

SPEAKING OF DONUT LORD. I KNEW THEY WOULDN'T KILL HIM OUTRIGHT BUT OH MY GOD WAS I CONFLICTED. BECAUSE ON ONE HAND, OH MY GOD. SHADOW JUST BROKE LIKE ALL OF TOM'S RIBS. NO PLEASE NO. BUT ON THE OTHER HAND... OH MY GOD. YES. THIS WILL BE PERFECT FOR SONIC AND SHADOW'S PARALLEL.

AGAIN, SPEAKING OF: PARALLELS, SPECIFICALLY THE TIME HOPS IN SHADOW'S MEMORIES OF MARIA. BRUTAL. CRIED THE WHOLE TIME. THAT RECORD PLAYER ONE REALLY GOT ME. GOD DAMN. PLUS, THE PARALLELS FROM TOM'S HEART TALK THE ENTIRE MOVIE AND ESPECIALLY THE MOON SCENE. CRYING. I KNEW IT THE WHOLE TIME BUT STILL. CRYING.

ALSO, OPEN YOUR HEART. SPEAK WITH YOUR HEART. WE'RE WINNING

DAMN: WHY DID EGGMAN GET TO SAY DAMN BUT NOT SHADOW

AND ALSO, NO FAKER! THERE WAS THE CONVO ABOUT WHY DO YOU LOOK LIKE ME, BUT NO FAKER :(( MAYBE NEXT TIME

I MIGHT BE REMEMBERING WRONG, IT MIGHTVE BEEN FROM THE KNUCKLES SERIES I WATCHED BEFORE, BUT OH MY GOD. THE WACHOWSKI KIDS' BEDS. KNUCKLES AND SONIC IN THEIR CARS ARE CUTE, BUT OH MY GOD TAILS AND HIS AIRPLANE.

OSSIE!! MORE OSSIE!! LOVE OSSIE. THANK YOU

CHAO GARDEN! AGENT STONE BEING A BADASS CONSISTENTLY. I LOVED AGENT STONE THIS WHOLE MOVIE. HE REALLY GOT A LOT OF DEVELOPMENT. LOVE HIM. ALSO A LITTLE SAD SONIC DIDN'T END UP WEARING A SPEED OR DARK CHAO MASK TO LOOK LIKE HIMSELF OR SHADOW, MISSED POTENTIAL :( STILL FUNNY

WALTERS' DEATH WAS UNEXPECTED TO ME NGL, JUST BECAUSE IT WAS SO ABRUPT. LIKE... OKAY. I GUESS. COOL. MAN'S DEAD.

THE MARIA BEING PULLED BY SHADOW ON SKATES. EVERYTHING MARIA. EVEN WITHOUT THE ILLNESS, THAT WAS THE PERFECT MARIA AND SHADOW DUO. YES

TBH, I LIKED THE GERALD AND IVO DUO. IT WAS SILLY. THEY WERE THE COMEDY IN AN OTHERWISE VERY HEAVY MOVIE STILL SOMEWHAT AIMED AT KIDS. SOME THINGS HAD ME LAUGHING BECAUSE IT WAS SO WRONG, LIKE THE SPANKING AND HOW GERALD JUST GOT ZAPPED LIKE A FLY IN AN ELECTRIC SWATTER. ALSO, EASY TO EXPLAIN GERALD'S AGE, HE KEPT LICKING SHADOW'S QUILL, WHICH IS LIKELY WHAT KEPT HIM ALIVE SO LONG. SO YEAH. I DIDNT THINK IT WAS BAD, MAYBE A LITTLE WEIRD, BUT THATS THE ROBOTNIK FAMILY'S THING

SHADOW'S "BOO." ENOUGH SAID

DID SHADOW REALLY HAVE TO SLAM SONIC'S FACE INTO THE GLASS LIKE THAT LMAO

ALSO SHADOW KICKED TAILS!!! THE STREAK CONTINUES

IT IS NOT LOST ON ME THAT SONIC'S POV BEGINS AT HIS B-EARTH-DAY PARTY. FUN REFERENCE TO GENERATIONS

LIVE AND LEARN. STILL HAPPY. JUST WANTED TO SAY IT AGAIN. THE WHOLE DOUBLE SUPER SCENE AND THEIR OWN FIGHT AND THE FIGHT AGAINST THE BOTS. EVERYTHING. PERFECTION. SOBBED. THE SUN RISE AND LOVE STILL EXISTING EVEN AFTER THE SOURCE IS GONE LIKE THE LIGHT. STILL SOBBING

THE WAY THEY HAD ROBOTNIK LEFT ON THE STATION LEAVES ME TO BELIEVE THEY LEFT IT OPEN ENDED ON IF HE LIVED SO THAT JIM CARREY HAD THE OPTION TO COME BACK, AND THATS FINE BY ME :)

PISSED ON THE MOON AND THE BROADCAST?? AND IT WAS A BROADCAST FOR STONE SPECIFICALLY??? WE ARE SO FUCKING BACK

SHADOW'S INHIBITORS. YES. HIM FALLING TO EARTH, ALTHOUGH DIFFERENT FROM THE GAME. YES. YES. YES.

1ST POST CREDIT OF METAL SONIC AND THE MISS AMY ROSE. HELL YEAH. IM SO HYPED. METAL LOOKS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING AND AMY IS SO CUTE. WONDERING HOW THAT'LL LEAD INTO THE NEXT MOVIE THOUGH?? WHO KNOWS

2ND POST CREDIT WITH PARALLELS?? WITH SHADOW LANDING ON EARTH IN A FIELD ALL ALONE FOR A SECOND TIME, THIS TIME MAYBE AMNESIAC AND HAVING TO ADJUST TO EARTH AGAIN?? OH MY GOD?? I WAS SO HAPPY THEY DIDN'T END UP JUST KILLING HIM OFF, ALTHOUGH IT WOULDVE BEEN REALLY GOOD. IF HE HAD DIED THOUGH, HE PROBABLY WOULDVE GOTTEN A LAST WORD IN TO MARIA ANYWAY, BUT STILL GLAD HE'S IN IT TO WIN IT

PLUS SHADOW SPIN OFF SERIES!! AND NEXT MOVIE IN 2027. THANK YOU KEANU FOR MAKING OUR FIRST MOVIE DREAMS COME TRUE, THANK YOU SONIC MOVIE TEAM, THANK YOU ALL CAST

THIS WAS MY TED TALK THANK YOU FOR READING

[bloodyshadow1]

hello @mer-acle as luck would have it I am your secret santa too. you wanted something based on Athena so here it is. I was planning on posting this closer to christmas, but since you gifted me that goregous Athena piece I thought what the heck.

It's not your normal torturing athena story but I hope you still like

Athena’s skin burned, her veins screamed, and her bones ached.  One minute she was standing in front of her father before all of Olympus, victorious from his gauntlet, the next he was shouting and she was on the ground.   She was in pain, her shield melted onto her arm since it took the brunt of the blow.

Her father was still shouting about something, probably a warning to the rest of Olympus not to defy him.  Athena’s body begged her to stay down as her head rang from pain and the crack thunder.  Athena knew the wisest move would be to stay down, to let her father throw his tantrum and make a plan for when he cooled down.  

But she could not.  This was not fair.  She might have mocked his infidelity, but why should she suffer for his ego when she won his game?  She had earned her victory when she had made it through 5 other gods by blood, wit, and words. Why should she suffer more for mentioning his infidelity than he ever did cheating on his wife?

This was wrong and Athena would not stand for it.  Regardless of sense and what the rest of the family was yelling at her, Athena rose to her feet even if she had to lean on her spear to do so.  Still, in front of all of Olympus, she stood in defiance of their king.  

For Zeus, he looked angry, as his wrath turned to hatred.  Not even Ares had ever made their father look this angry before.  He shouted at her, from what she could make out from his lips something ‘Thunderbringer’ and ‘wringer’ but her ears were ringing too loudly for her to hear him.  In defiance of him, in his rule and his words, Athena moves forward.  

Purple in the face, Athena watches as her father gathers his storms to strike her again, but she does not stop.  He was angry, not uncommon for him, but for the first time since she was birthed from his skull, Athena fed the fires of her rage.  

Athena thought of Odysseus, her dear friend who she never got to call the word to his face.  Trapped on an island, violated by a goddess he did not love, all because of her father’s cruelty.  She thought of Telemachus and Penelope who were forced to endure his absence and the men who came to take his place all these years.  

She thought of her dearest Pallas, her first friend and the first blood she spilt.  All because Zeus’ arrogance would not let even his banished daughter lose a spare.  She thought of her mother Metis, the only source of softness Athena had as a child in the pits of her father’s guts.  She was gone now, gone forever because she could give birth to a child with her husband.  Her first, last, and only gift she was ever able to give to Athena, her armor was also smoking, perhaps unusable after today.  Were she able to allow herself the time, Athena would have cried at its loss.  

Lastly, Athena thought of a little girl, a baby.  A child born without sin, but with a prophecy hanging over her head, one that did not even apply to her, yet the King of Olympus deemed the death of his daughter a small price to pay for his safety.   

Never again, Athena had swallowed enough poison and pain in her life.  She looked at her father, her king, and advanced.  For the goddess of wisdom is going to war.     

There is no god on Olympus who could match the raw power of Zeus, not his brother, not his sisters, certainly not his daughter.  Athena knew this better than anyone.  She doubted that she would, could, win against her father. Zeus is Zeus afterall, but she will be damned if she will let him treat her like this for standing up for her friend.

Her father tossed another one of his thunderbolts at her, probably thinking he could end her little fit of rebellion then and there. This time though, Athena was expecting it and rolled to the side.  Her body screamed at her begging her to stop,  to lay down and die, but that was not Athena’s way.  Before, he caught her by surprise, in a moment of weakness, Athena did not believe that her father would truly hurt her.  That had been a mistake and the pain and scars would be the price she paid for that mistake.  

‘You can rest when you are dead and not a second before,’ was something she told her students Achilles, Diomedes, and Odysseus.  Achilles was resting, Diomedes was not, and she would be damned before she let Odysseus rest in peace trapped on Calypso’s island. She was many things, but she was not a hypocrite when it came to battle.  While she was alive she would not lay down like a beaten dog. 

She met her father’s attack with a charge, Zeus was powerful, but she knew she was as good as dead if she did not close the distance.  His thunderbolts were the most powerful weapon in all the cosmos, her shield was already gone and her Aegis around her neck was powerful, but it could only withstand so much.  She needed to end this now.  

One bolt echoed behind Athena, missing her by a hair, then another as she closed the distance.  Something came into her mind as she moved forward, how sloppy her father was.  His blows were powerful, the whole arena shook every time his bolts crashed to the earth, but as a warrior he was lacking.  It was not hard to be dangerous when you wielding the power of Olympus and the most destructive weapons the elder cyclopes ever made.  But on the battlefield, if not for his godhood, well, Athena had seen many warriors like him.  She could read him like a book.

Big and strong men who thought because they wielded a blade twice the size of the men around them that they were unstoppable.  They thought their strength was a perfect substitute for skill and would carry them on any battlefield.  At least until they came upon someone far more skilled who actually knew how to fight.

As she dodged lightning, Athena wondered when was the last time Zeus had actually fought someone instead of turning them into dust with one blast.  No one challenges the king of the gods, so perhaps his last real foe had been the Typhon?  

That sounded right, the Bane of Olympus against the king, thousands of years ago.  The great spawn of Gaia and Tartarus tore the earth apart as he made his way to Olympus.  The other gods fled save for Zeus, and if the storyteller was being honest, Athena.  Yes, Athena had been so loyal back then, she stood by her father’s side as the Typhon and the creatures he spawned.  She had seen her father fall against the giant while she fended off the nightmarish army.  It was her who distracted the Typhon while Hermes returned their father’s stolen sinews.  She had fought for days back then and despite the blood and sweat she spilled those days she had been written out of the story.  

Athena might have cared, but not enough to let it bother her, back then it only mattered that the threat was dealt with and Apollo had returned to the mountain so someone could heal her wounds.  Zeus had been sloppy and out of practice even back then, now it appears he had let himself go even worse if she could make it this close to him.  

As he went to summon his bolt again, his face growing redder with frustration every time she dodged, Athena made her move.  Before the bolt was back in his hand, her spear pierced his wrist, spraying golden ichor all over him.  He looked as shocked as he was in pain.  

Athena tried to not give him time to recover as she drew her sword from her hip and charged.  She managed two swings before he was able to recover, a deep cut on his chest from which gold spilled out, and one on his shoulder that he was able to dodge somewhat before she could dig deeper.  

Before she could go for the kill though, Zeus grabbed her sword hand with his injured hand.  He might be a shit warrior, but no one in existence could deny that he was a strong bastard.  It hurt as he squeezed down on her wrist but she did not let him have the satisfaction of seeing her in pain.  “Ungrateful bitch,” he spat at her before backhanding her with his bleeding hand.  

Athena spat out blood but did not back down even as her head rang inside her helmet.  He had one of her arms now, he was stronger than her.  In a grapple she knew despite her experience she would lose.  But while Athena was not as strong as her father, she was sneakier and willing to do whatever it took to win.  

As Zeus started to say something, Athena let out her secret weapon.  The bronze of her shield had melted from his first attack, but it had cooled since then.  It was not a pretty weapon by any means, but with how it melted into sharp, jagged, and ugly edges was enough.  Before he could say anything she slammed her deformed shield into his throat and ripped it open, gold pouring out like rain.  

Even Zeus, the King of the Gods, could shake off such a dreadful wound, Athena was counting on it.  He fell to his knees, clutching his gaping throat, it was not enough to kill him, but all creatures weakened to such a wound.  She dashed around him, unclipping her Aegis from around her throat.  

Swiftly, Athena wrapped the cloth of divine make around her father’s injured throat like a noose.  For the first time since Pallas died, Zeus wore the Aegis that was once his.  And like her half-brother killing the great Nemean Lion, Athena pulled her Aegis tight.  

Zeus did not go down without a fight, wounded as he was, he was still the king for a reason.  He thrashed against Athena with the strength only those who knew they were going to die could muster.  But while Athena was weaker than the children of Kronos, she was no dainty flower to be manhandled.  She was a war goddess and proved her mettle hanging on to the edges of her Aegis with an iron grip.  

Athena drew strength from those who lost and who she had yet to lose.  The mother that had been the only source of softness in the abyss that was her father’s guts.  Her first friend who had been taken by her hand and her father’s actions.  Odysseus who was still alive, but tormented because his crew killed a cow.  Her muscles  grew tight as she pulled harder, “you will never hurt the ones I love again,” she snarled like a beast.  

Between her strength and leverage, there was nothing that the King of the Skies could do and eventually he succumbed to the darkness.

Athena kept her grip tight on her Aegis for a few minutes after her father stopped thrashing about.  She would not lose everything she worked for to him playing possum.  Eventually though, Athena let her Aegis slacken once she was sure he would not wake in a moment.  Not even Zeus could get up after that.  With a sigh, she knew she had not a moment to lose.

Athena knelt down to the pools of golden ichor that covered the stage, a mix of both of theirs, her own wounds had not stopped just because she decided to fight her king.  With a touch the golden blood of the gods turned into golden thread.  With that thread Athena wove a golden net even stronger than the one the family used years ago to entrap him.  

Back then it took days of planning before Athena could formulate a plan to depose Zeus with the help of several other gods.  Yet here she was, able to topple her father alone.  She learned from her mistakes last time and when she strapped him in the net, she made sure there was no way out.  He would wake eventually and this time Athena did not want anyone pulling a Thetis and freeing him.  

With her father secured Athena finally looked at her surroundings.  At the monsters and gods in the stands watching them with baited breath.  Some looked afraid, some looked unsure, but there were some who looked hopeful for some reason that Athena could not quite comprehend in her state.  The family looked at her with mixed eyes as well, she would deal with that later.

“Hermes,” Athena shouted, her voice was raw but full of authority.  

Within seconds the messenger god was in front of her, “hey there sis,” he said trying to sound like he was not nervous.  “What can your favorite messenger of the gods do for you.”

“Go to Calypso’s Island,” Athena commanded, “tell Calypso to free Odysseus at once by the authority of Olympus.  Let her know that if she refuses, I will be the next visitor to her island,” she let the threat go unfinished.  Athena knew Hermes would get her point across.  

“My father’s game is over,” she shouted to the masses.  Some looked shocked, some looked frightened, but some, even those amongst the family, had a strange look of hope that she did not understand.  

It took everything she had to not sway from the pain now that adrenaline was slowly leaving her system.  But after what just happened, she could not afford to show any weakness.  Whatever comes next could wait, Odysseus needed to be free, Telemachus and Penelope needed to be safe.  Then she could rest.

[anika-ann]

For the game:

Steve Rogers x reader, blanket kingdom

Jaqui, my sweet! I'm sorry I took so long, brain did a thing 🙈

Thank you for participating in this ask game (which has rules I completely ignored, because brain be braining differently) 💕 May the result bring a smile to your face!

Blanket Kingdom

Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader Type: blurb-ish, fluff, emotional hurt/comfort WC: 1,8k 🥹 Warnings: a bit of self-deprecation, allusions to anxiety and depression, tooth-rotting fluff, Steve being unfairly perfect and pretty

It was one of those days: a day that was simply wrong in its core.

Nothing major had happened; nothing tragic. You had lived through an alien invasion; you had sat by Steve’s bedside after he’d had a brush with death and had cried your eyes out. You had lost people, lost friendships and lost jobs. Today, no heartbreaking event took place – and yet you had trouble counting your blessings.

It was one of those days; a day that was simply wrong. One minor inconvenience after another, piling up and up and with every inch added to that pile, with every teeny struggle, you just wanted to throw yourself on the floor and scream. And cry. And that feeling itself, paired with knowing all too well that not one of those things that should really make you feel like that, made you want to scream and cry all the more.

Then, your only solace; coming home.

Coming home to the most loving, softest, warmest embrace you’d ever known; an embrace which today, you repaid Steve with soaking his Henley in tears and smudged with a little mascara. Stupid, stupid tears. Stupid shoulders of yours which couldn’t bear the weight of mere inconveniences, while Steve’s shoulders carried weight the world. And yes, he might struggle sometimes too, but he had valid reasons at least. You, today? Barely.

And yet, you clung to him like to a lifeline, soaking in his love and his sunshine dimmed with concern for you.

“Why don't you lie in the bath?” he hummed as he ran his warm palm along your spine again, adjusting his head on top of yours, kissing your hair.

The first hint of a real smile since you had left the apartment this morning twitched in the corner of your lips.

“Are you telling me I stink, mister?”

A light offended snort escaped him, the little jerk of his chest sparking gentle warmth in yours. “No. You smell lovely. But to relax. You're all tense, honey.”

You hummed in agreement, swallowing the ‘no shit’ your angel of a boyfriend did not deserve.

“��kay… uhm… will you come with me?” you asked lowly, retreating a bit despite feeling like you were leaving a soft comfy bed at an ungodly hour of a morning, entering the cold dark world.

Your lips pursed slightly, the echo of your voice sounding so childish even to yourself in face of the larger-than-life man; and it felt all the more childish to see him frown compassionately, his thumb stroking your cheek, still wet with tears.

“I’m sorry, love, I've got one last bit of work to do. Then I'm all yours, I promise. Maybe we can watch a movie?”

You nodded, an automatism triggered despite the rejection feeling ridiculously like a punch to your gut. God, you were pathetic. And so was probably your attempt at a smile.

“Yeah, sure. That sounds lovely.”

And it did sound exactly that; except Steve wouldn't come to the bath with you to hold you, which was honestly all you wanted. What you wanted more than anything in the world, at least at the moment.

Another inconvenience added to the pile.

Except this time, you felt like the inconvenience; an imposition on Captain America, who had much more important things to do.

You understood. You did.

But god did you just want--- you didn’t even know anymore. Nothing. Anything. Everything.

You knew deep down this feeling would pass eventually; you knew that eventually, you’d again feel like a human being and not a burden, like someone worthy of love instead of loathing, but the weight of the pile was so damn crushing, all the problems of today thrown at your body, at your face, blocking your view of the starry skies so you couldn’t even wish on a falling one.

And through the mess, you missed Steve’s smile, bright like a sun, following your every step as you shuffled to the bathroom.

Body slightly more pliant after the long minutes in the scented bath, softest pyjama pants on along with Steve’s t-shirt long enough to be considered a dress on you, you took a deep not-so-steadying breath. Stepping out of the bathroom felt like a trial; your best attempt at bravery made, your smile froze in an instant as you set eyes on Steve.

Or rather on the result of the incredibly important task worthy only of Captain America you had thought he had had to fulfil.

A blanket fort. He had built you a blanket fort, large enough to be called a blanket kingdom. Big enough to accommodate both you and him comfortably, and since he had mentioned a movie, with enough space to fit in a provisory cinema.

Tears prickled in your eyes as you met his gaze, his hesitation evident, his own inviting smile wavering.

“Is this okay?”

No. No it wasn’t. It was far from okay, because this was—

You took a wavering breath, trying to steady the quivering of your lower lip, trying to draw some air into your lungs even as there seemed to be no space in your chest but for the explosion of affection for this man.

By god, you did not deserve him, but you were never letting him go.

Steve frowned as you quickly wiped the tears having escaped with the back of your palm, crossing the distance between you with cautious strides, as if worried he might spook you – or that you’d break or dissipate into thin air like a dream if he got too close too fast.

Joke was on him; you were sure he couldn’t be real.

But he was. And so was his warm hand enclosing yours, leading you into your hiding place from the cold dark world, a solace gently illuminated by fairy lights, fluffy blankets and pillows gathered to battle the piles of struggles you had faced today, two cups of hot chocolate to sweeten all the bitter pills that had made your stomach hurt, laptop indeed prepared, displaying the start screen for Princess Diaries 2, your ultimate comfort movie.

The sob was exploding from your chest before you could hope to stop it, your whole weight thrown over him as he laid on his back, your inner cuddle monster coming out, soothed by his presence and his gentle chuckle.

“So it is okay,” he teased you lightly, your frantic nods against his chest enough of an answer.

“Oh Steve... it’s perfect. You’re perfect. I love you. I love you so much I can’t handle it,” you muttered, hushed by a tender peck to your forehead.

“I love you too… now, tell me. Does Her Majesty find her quarters satisfactory? ‘tis no excuse but my time and resources were unfortunately limited.”

You couldn’t supress your giggle as he mimicked the way Nicolas would speak at the end of the movie, asking for Mia’s forgiveness and pleaded to know whether she reciprocated his love.

“Steve-“

“And does my betrothed wishes to order from the royal kitchens before the comedians begin their performance?”

He used the moment of your stunned silence to steal a kiss from your now parted lips, your heart trembling with overwhelming affection.

“I’m… not your betrothed, love-“

“Yet,” he muttered, almost absently as he tucked a lose strand of your damp hair behind your ear, smiling oh so warmly, as if his words weren’t sending your heart into frenzy. A very, very pleasant frenzy.

Hesitating, torn between whether you should address his little remark, you decided to call upon your nearly non-existing bravery and use the opportunity to apologize.

“That would mean being here for better and for worse…” you said, earning a hum of agreement, Steve’s gaze following his fingers as he traced the lines of your face, as if committing them to memory. Your voice stuck in your throat. “I… I’m sorry it’s on the side of worse today. I’m sorry to-“

“We all have those days, sweetheart. Would you tell me off if I had a bad day?” he inquired gently, causing your voice to fall silent with a huff.

The little manipulator; he already knew you wouldn’t. You had been there for a bad day or two of his before; and if he’d have you, you’d be there for all of them.

You sighed, pressing a kiss to the tip of his nose, causing him to grin brilliantly you almost had to shield your eyes; from the brightness, from the almost painful beauty.

He really was an angel accidentally kicked out of heaven, landing hard but keeping his heart soft with love for humanity. And by some miracle, for you.

“You know I wouldn’t,” you murmured, a mantra you sometimes reminded both and you and him echoing in your head, a ray of soft light on days when it turned into a dark place. “You are worthy of love on any day, and loved you are.”

“That’s right, love. And you deserve treats and food…?”  

Honestly, you weren’t hungry at all, but you were aware that much like the gloom following you today, that too, was only momentary. And despite how wholesome and fulfilling your relationship with Steve was, you could not live off on it only.

“A pizza sounds good?”

Steve pecked your lips, before shifting under you to reach for his phone. “The word of my betrothed is my law. I shall see to keep Her Majesty happy, fed and mine.”

“Oh my god, stop it,” you giggled at the warm fluttery feeling in your ribcage, not blind to the way Steve’s eyes lit up at the sound, his sheer delight at your happiness and being the source of it spreading through your veins like liquid sunshine, warm and joyful.

“Now why would I, when Her Majesty my queen looks so beautiful smiling…”

“Steve---- very well,” you resigned to join his gentle ridiculousness despite the heat in your face, caressing his cheek with the pad of your fingers, his smile softening, skin dusting with pink under your affection as it still did at times. “I therein declare my love to you, Sir Rogers. Please accept my gratitude for your heroic actions and for my chambers large enough to be a castle. Thank you.”

Thank you; I do not deserve you. But I do.

He caressed your hair, irises sparkling, the fairy lights playing games so enticing on his handsome face you wanted to chase the shadows and light with your lips.

“Anything for you, my love. May we rule in peace in good humour, for long years, side by side.”

And there it was again; a subtle promise of forever. You leaned your cheek on his chest with a smile, nestling comfortably, not protesting in the slightest when he pressed one of the cups of hot chocolate to your hand, before tapping on his phone to order dinner.

You sighed contentedly, the worries of the cold dark world stranded outside of your unconquerable fortress, while you remained safe and loved.

“Yes… that is all we could ever wish for.”

I hope you don't really needed a hurt/comfort fic, but I hope you liked it either way 💕

Thank you for reading and potential feedback!

You can find my other works on my masterlist, should you be interested 😇

Divider by @firefly-graphics.

[starlet-orchids]

ok ok eden garden chapter 1 rant and afterthoughts (spoilers for all of the chapter here)

WHERE DO I EVEN BEGIN GOD

I def want to write my afterthoughts on this cause it has seriously ruined my whole mind rn

First I did the daily life on one day and the trial on the next so in the middle of the night, I had a whole dream that Diana was the killer and so when the trial said it was Diana I was like: OH WAS MY DREAM RIGHR??? (Ofc it wasnt)

GOD RHE DIANA AND DAMON PARALLELS ARE PARALLEING TOO BTW. I can not describe better than others have but god I cant

I really will miss the damon wolfgang dynamic, I did one of his fte and I found it so admirable how he def did want to help everyone and even if he had a mild dislike for Damon and Eva, he was willing to cooperate ig?? And also how Damon mentioned he challenged him to do better, god I love me some challenge rivals I will miss them

Damon and Kai were also super funny. I didnt like Kai too much in the prologue but I started warming up to him in chapter 1, he is very goofy and just a guy. I cant hate him too much for that

My other fav damon dynamics going on were with Cassidy and Toshiko each. Cassidy and Damon are a powerduo, they bicker but they get stuff done quick. Toshiko and Damon also are so sibs, I died when I first saw the mochi nickname btw. I hope to see them be siblings more, I am grateful for their content.

Now the elephant in the room of Damon and Eva. Ok uhm. Eva had so so much characterization here its crazy. Eva slowly revealing her true self to others after getting exposed, showing how her ult liar front was just a facade in order to not be seen as lower. She def has a bad complex cause of her past (watch her ftes), she hates being seen as low and nothing human so because of that, has become blind to people who do care. She was willing to sacrifice everyone cause she thought no one trusted her at all in any way. I think she targeted Wolfgang cause of how he was the main one who was singling her out from the rest. She was bitter towards him and everyone who followed him the entire time compared to Damon. Damon acknowledged it but subconsiosly allowed himself to build trust with the rest. Why else would he start defending Diana after being the one to start accusing her? He recognized the kindness she had given to him that had no tone of pity. Meanwhile Eva couldnt see the help with no strings attached from Diana and so decided to frame her otherwise.

Eva and Damon friendship is so sweet, they both were excluded and dislike being seen lower/less than their peers. The way Damon cried after her execution even after she admitted to not believing the care and trust she had recieved from them all. The irony on how Eva pointed out the most likely to kill were the ultimates and yet she starts the game.

Hm other stuff I would like to say last now are that the cgs are cute, the grace wolfgang stuff is so crazy and I cant not wait for the next chapters if chapter 1 was willing to pull smth like this alrdy!! The pacing of the daily life and the trial were quite reasonable and the banter was so silly to read, I enjoyed it a ton for sure

Also I could write a whole Eva analysis but I suck at wording stuff, please tell me if I should write one tbh.

ok thats all of it, have a guess at who my favs are after reading all of this. Thank you for reading if you did!!!

[helen-lucilfer]

ranking the phantom troupe based on how good of parents they would be

1. chrollo. the way that this isn’t even because i have favoritism towards chrollo, its because he’s so responsible🥹🥹🥹 like do you see the way that he basically takes care of the troupe? fathered so hard he mothered tbh. chrollo is literally so girl dad coded🥺 prolly cried when his held his child for the first time. he’d be the sweetest, brushing his daughter’s hair and taking her shopping.

2. pakunoda. she’s so respectful and self sacrificial and responsible im crying🥺 she makes me cry real skibidi tears like togashi look at what you took away from us. she’d be the literal sweetest mama ever. she’s soooo girl mom coded it’s insane. can you imagine her painting her daughter’s nails pink?🥹💕 she would 100% take her daughter on mall trips all the time.

3. phinks. controversial opinion but this guy would lowkey but SUCH A GOOD DAD. remember during the chimera ant arc when he gave shizuku his clothes because she lost hers? i just KNOW that he would play video games with his son and once begrudgingly wore a tiara for his daughter.

4. franklin. i don’t think he’d ever have kids (or want them for that matter), but if ever were to babysit kids, just know that he’ll be great. since we all know that he’s literally just a chill guy, he’ll just let the kids play video games and eat food the whole time.

5. nobunaga. okay okay HEAR ME OUT HE WOULD BE SO CUTE. like okay he wouldn’t be a “good” parent, but can you imagine him running around with his kid wreaking havoc and letting them play with his hair? like come on that’s literally like my dream dad😭❤️

6. shizuku. now she definitely is NOT responsible, but she doesn’t even need to be because she’ll lowkey be so chill and nice with her kids. there’s a saying that kids like pretty girls, and shizuku is definitely that. she’ll probably let her kids play on her phone or something, and i lowkey don’t think she’ll care if they take her glasses or smth.

7. machi. she’s responsible, don’t get me wrong, but i think she’ll be a bit too strict on her kid because she has trouble expressing any positive emotions. but when her kid runs away crying, she’ll instantly feel SO BAD and try her best to comfort the kid. she might make them a doll or some clothes or something.

8. bonolenov. we don’t really know too much about him, but he seems to care a lot about the troupe, so then it’s probably natural to assume that he’ll be the same with his children, if he ever has any, of course. he’ll probably teach them about their clan and what the holes in his clan’s body symbolizes.

9. shalnark. now, he’s a friendly and “sweet” guy, but i have a strong feeling that he wouldn’t like kids very much. they’re probably too dumb and pure for his liking, and he probably feels sort of uncomfortable when it comes to kids. if he finds out that someone is going to have his kids, then 90% of the time, shalnark will pull a ging freecss. the other 10% of the time, he’ll try his best.

10. uvogin. he’s the type of guy to want his child to learn how to fight and learn Nen as soon as possible, even if he has to initiate them to unlock their aura nodes. he’d lowkey drink beer one day and offer his kids some beer too, forgetting that they’re underage. but he loves his kids dearly though and would do anything for them, so that’s good enough.

11. feitan. oh this guy HATES KIDS. he finds them annoying and loud and stupid, and he gets the ick even when he LOOKS at a kid. if he ever had a kid, (which he probably wouldn’t but just hypothetically speaking) he’d have less of a reaction considering how that kid literally comes from inside of him, but he’d begrudgingly raise them as best he can…if it’s a son. if it’s a daughter, then i feel like he’ll be much softer and (try to be) more gentle.

12. illumi. pretty self explanatory tbh. he’ll love his kids dearly, but he’ll express it in toxic and unhealthy ways (he’ll also put them through terrible Zoldyck training)

13. hisoka. do NOT let this man near kids, even his own.

———

kalluto, kortopi - how do you expect them to have children when they’re literally children themselves?

[babydollcer]

I always loved games night at your friend's house. Your group of friends had been so kind and welcoming since we got together.

You told me your friends wanted to try a new game this week. I was so excited!

When we arrived, there were already a few empty bottles of wine on the table, letting me know this was going to be a fun night.

I poured us a glass each and sat down, ready to hear the rules of this game. Your friend Tom stood up, ready to assume hosting duties as per usual. Only this time, next to him was some sort of board covered in a black sheet.

"Voila!"

As he ripped off the black sheet, it revealed a whiteboard with everyones names written on one side, and a 'time' section on the opposite side.

As I scanned the board, I realised my name wasn't on there. He must have forgotten about me. I am new to the group after all.

I sunk into my seat, completely ready to disappear before I hear Tom calling me up to stand next to him.

Confused, I looked at you for reassurance. You just gave me a smile and patted my ass in encouragement for me to join him. I blushed and walked over to Tom very confused.

"Ladies and gentlemen, can you please make some noise for our lovely volunteer!"

The room erupted in whistles and laughs as I played along, bowing before the crowd, desperate to know what was going on.

"Tonight's game is one we've had many requests for! As you all know, the fastest wins. I'll start timing as soon as first contact is made. Good luck, and let the game begin!"

Great, that cleared it up. Before I could even ask what the game was, Tom was shoving something into my mouth. I tried to spit it out, but it must have already been secured because it wasn't moving an inch. I tried to reach up and remove it but your blonde friend, who I hadn't even learnt the name of yet, grabbed my arms behind my back and held me firmly in place.

My eyes widened in fear and I looked at you for help. The smirk on your face instantly let me know that you weren't going to be any help at all. I looked around at all your friends, willing anyone to help me, pleading with my eyes. Their excited faces filled me with dread at the prospect of what you were going to do to me.

Jessica was the first to approach me. As she lifted my skirt and exposed my tiny panties to the group, I cried in shock. I tried to kick my legs, to conceal my decency, but they were quickly held down by someone else I couldn't see.

"Ready? Go! "

With the beep of a stopwatch, Jessica dropped my panties and started feverishly sucking my clit. I gasped in surprise and pleasure. I wanted to hold face, be stoic, not let them know how she was affecting me, but her toungue overwhelmed my senses with pleasure. Licking and sucking with expert precision - the pleasure shooting through my whole body.

I shook my head as I felt myself get close. "please plaese please" begging her to stop I think. I can't cum in front of all these people. I'm so embarrassed, my stomach tensing in an effort to hold off my impending orgasm.

She seemed to see this as a challenge. She sucked my clit into her mouth with all her might - and then she bit it slightly, sending shockwaves through my body. I screamed out, desperate to keep what little dignity I could, but to no avail.

I heard another beep, followed by Tom's booming voice, "8 minutes 30! Respectable, but I think we can do better than that! Next up, it's Matthew's turn!"

As it dawned on me what was happening, I shook in fear and post orgasm bliss. How many names were on that list?

Matthew was unbuckling his belt before I even had a second to recover...

[opikiquu]

my life a movie (PSYCHOLOGICAL HORROR)

[tekablade-chronicles-3]

Haha, thank you for the vote of confidence, but my writing truly sucks ! I'm an illustrator first and foremost, so most of my writing is scripts for comics... Basically fancy descriptions.

It's not post-able, really isn't. But I do still like the concepts in them... I'll talk about them in the tags, if there's people interested. ( though bare in mind, i'll be vague, but it's still talking about the game as a whole, so if you're mindful of spoilers, best not check )

Regardless, thanks again for writing !!!

"Riona, relatively speaking, you're still extremely early in Metaphor: ReFantazio. You cannot start writing fanfiction already. You have no idea what you're doing."

I've been writing Metaphor drafts since 2023.... ( they suck and are inaccurate now, so i doubt i'll post them, but y'know. ) It's okay. You're fine.

This game deserves it. And Close Contact is fantastic !! ( i'm that one commenter from earlier lol )

Thank you so much, both for this message and for your lovely comment on my fic!

I'm impressed by how early you started writing for Metaphor! I wrote a fic for The Last of Us, Part II eight months before the game came out, based entirely on a trailer, so I can relate.

It's entirely up to you, of course, but I encourage you to post your Metaphor writing if you'd like to! (If you're concerned about inaccuracies, you could just mention in an author's note that it was written pre-release.) The world needs more fanfiction for this game, after all.

[warrenwaskilledbyadeer]

Can we talk about how the heart and soul of the original Ace Attorney trilogy centers around how Phoenix loves his sister Maya so much he will do literally anything for her but all the fandom wants to talk about is Wrightworth

(HAD TO EDIT THE POST BECAUSE PLEASE DO NOT TAG SHIP)

[licorishh]

Replayed Modern Warfare 3 2011 on Veteran tonight and goooooooood night. Blood Brothers never gets any easier to watch no matter how many times you've done it and the ending really never misses huh

I apologize for the amount of yapping in the tags I reread it all on mobile and started giggling because it went on for so long but eh. Blessed are those who won't shut the freak up and all that

[zaynes-left-chesticle]

If this POS didn't take 25 seconds to fly around and light everything on fire... 🤬🤬🤬🤬

I understand you're, angry but SO AM I!!!

[orcelito]

I think I cried harder today over my dad's jackets than I did at his deathbed. That was a miserable time of course, a memory that will likely be seared into my brain until I die, but I cried... I think a normal amount, all things considered. More than I ever usually do of course, but I typically don't cry At All. All this free crying is certainly surreal.

The jackets, though. I was put in charge of doing his laundry, because we don't want to pack up dirty clothes. I was expecting it to be unpleasant bc my dad's dirty clothes - gross. But really, it was much more unpleasant in that... those were his. It felt wrong to touch them. Felt wrong to treat his jackets as gross. Because they were just his jackets. They weren't even in the hamper. And then I was remembering him wearing them, and then I was crying. Again. And again. Weeping over these damn jackets.

Then I found a shirt on his bed that still smelled like him. It smelled like a Hug From Dad. And that set me off crying even harder.

In total, I think I cried like 6 times within 40 minutes. It took me that long to finish sorting the damn clothes bc I just. Was a wreck. Like, what are you supposed to do when you're living life like normal, vaguely hopeful bc you're taking steps to secure your own happiness, and then 4 days later you're sorting your dad's laundry because he fucking died. Suddenly. Without a goodbye.

And you have to worry about his lack of a will (even under an ideal situation, only 2 heirs and no conflicts between us, probate's a fucking Bitch), and arranging the funeral, and prepping his obituary, and picking out pictures, and writing a speech bc you want to talk at his funeral, of Course you want to talk at his funeral, but even just thinking about anecdotes you could share has you crying yet again.

I've cried more times in the past 3 days than likely the entirety of last YEAR. And that's WITH my cat, and uncle, and family friend dying. Those all hurt, my uncle most of all, & I was real fucked up over it. But this? This was my Dad. Likely the person I'd have named 2nd closest to me in my life, second only to my sister. He wasn't perfect, but he did so much for me throughout my entire life. All he wanted was to raise us to be happy and independent. And he accomplished it, we're getting by without him, but we still wanted several more decades with him. He was only 57. We should've gotten several more decades with him.

But here we are now. Playing investigators to his life, digging into all his shit, trying to find documents and take inventory of all his things, and learning Many things about him in the process. In his lockbox of sensitive documents, like his SSN and birth certificate and all that stuff, we found an old letter. About a decade old now, written in my hand. Right at the very top, we found that he'd kept the letter I wrote to him telling him frankly about my struggles and the things I wanted him to do better. He kept it. He tried to take it to heart. He looked at it again, sometime more recently than all the rest of the documents. That was on top.

His love for us is evident everywhere. The pictures he has hanging up all over the place, majority of them with us in them. The old fathers day cards placed on display in his bedroom bookshelf. The gifts we gave him, even stupid little knick knacks, placed around his apartment with pride. I wish we'd taken more videos of him. I don't want to forget the sound of his voice. I don't want to forget his smell either, the smell of a Hug From Dad, but I still tossed that shirt into the wash even though it felt like saying yet another goodbye.

It's the suddenness that hurts the most, I think. We were planning on having him help me finally get my license this year. My final words to him, the last thing he would've seen from me, were messages asking up on whether he'd called his car insurance company to make sure there wouldn't be problems. I should've called him more. I don't know if I'm going to learn from this.

I cut my 2 weeks off early to have time to grieve and to work on things for the funeral and settling the estate. The last thing I'd wanna do right now is selling fucking bubble tea in a job I already decided to leave. So here I am without a job, though with potentially two life insurance policy payouts to come. Inheriting half his 401k. Inheriting couches, knickknacks, keepsakes, paintings, art pieces, maybe even his guitar and other furniture if we can figure out what to do about space (I don't have room for this furniture, I don't know if I even have room for the couches, but God do I want to keep so much of this furniture). It has me even considering keeping one of his guns, just one. A tiny little revolver, it sits so comfortably in my hand. I don't even want to use it for anything. I just want to have it, keep it stored in a drawer with its ammo kept separate. I don't like guns, but this is a part of him. He loved collecting guns. He was about as responsible with them as someone can be, keeping them locked in a lockbox and impressing upon his children the importance of gun safety (I've known the basic gun safety rules ever since I was a little kid. Of course, of course, of course.) It reminds me of him. It's horrifically easy to have a gun in Indiana. I apparently don't even need a permit to carry anymore. (I have no intention to ever carry this in public.)

It's all a cycle. Business, grief, thoughts about my future. Round and round, like the most nauseating carousel in existence. I don't know how I'm still so functional. My skills with compartmentalization have been my lifesaver.

And im just thinking about the story my dad's best friend shared today. About a friend of theirs who lost her father. She reached out after hearing about my dad to share his words with her: "it's okay to grieve, but don't make his death your life".

He explicitly referenced himself in this, saying if he were to die suddenly that he wouldn't want us to define ourselves by it. Grief is expected, but he wants us to be able to move on. He's always wanted us to establish ourselves and make ourselves happy. He wouldn't want to be a weight holding us back from that.

So every time I start to feel guilty for thinking about having nicer furniture or using his life insurance payout to fund the rest of my college, I remind myself of that. Thinking about the material isn't a bad thing. I'm only human. And in the end, he'd Want me to be thinking about it. He never intended to die, certainly not without warning like this, so he would've only encouraged me being pragmatic about it all.

He only ever wanted us to be happy. So I need to do what I can to live up to that.

I love him. I miss him already.

[illdothehotvoice]

To think I really thought the curse of this week was over yesterday when I got Brothership finally.